On this week’s episode of The Bachelor, Pilot Pete’s menagerie of models cried over a bottle of champagne from Des Moines, participated in a pillow fight judged by Fred Willard, and went line dancing in Los Angeles.
It’s okay to feel embarrassed on their behalf. That’s half the fun.
Line Dancing in Los Angeles
Everyone has seen those electoral maps with huge swaths of red in the middle of the country. I get that I’m not the target demographic for this show. However, we all saw Peter driving his Mercedes last season, so who is The Bachelor trying to trick having him arrive to the mansion in a pick-up truck with a bench seat for a day of cowboy boot shopping and country line dancing? Yes, they’re still in Los Angeles – white people are weird.
Of course, it’s not The Bachelor without a sad backstory to force a deeper connection before a relationship warrants it, so this date went to Victoria P. (27, nurse, Louisiana). After line dancing, Victoria and Peter had dinner at an airport hangar where she told him the sad story of her childhood. Her dad died when she was young and her mom had addiction issues, which meant she lived in and out of shelters while caring for her sister. Classic bachelor bait. Peter replied with a lot of “wow” and “I can’t imagine” and then gave her the date rose. Naturally, Victoria told him that he’s shown her “the kind of love I deserve.” Victoria, sweetie, you’ve known him for all of 12 hours. The only thing he has shown you is attention.
Demi Extreme Pillow Fight Club
The only thing the group date was good for was seeing Demi Burnett again. Other than that it was an embarrassment. It’s one thing to get 30 women to sign up for this show, it’s a whole other thing to then make 8 of them dress up in pajamas and have a public pillow fight tournament in a saloon while being judged by Chris Harrison and Fred Willard. Sure, it was hilarious that they gave 7 women sexy pajama sets and made one wear a muumuu, but still, not cool. I mean, I’m still laughing, but NOT COOL. For the record, Alayah (24, Orthodontist Assistant/Pageant girl, Texas) “won” but I think we are all losers here.
Pilot Wife Life
Alayah was riding high from her win and super excited to show Peter her sassy side. Sadly for her, that side has been rubbing the other women in the mansion the wrong way all week. In particular, Sydney (24, Retail Marketing, Alabama) is not having it. Not only did Alayah beat her at the pillow fight (I can’t believe I just typed that sentence) but she also thinks Sydney is living that two faced pageant life. Great, this story line again.
Sydney ended up getting in Peter’s head about it, but it backfired when Peter asked her to explain her concerns in front of everyone. It wasn’t a good look. Or at least it wasn’t right up until Peter gave Sydney the date rose. Poor, sweet, innocent, baby Peter in a windmill. You have no idea what you just started.
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The Bachelor has the Worst Pool Parties
Rather than limit their ability to exploit the bikini ready bodies at their disposal to only a handful on a group date, Chris Harrison announced that the next group date was canceled in exchange for a pool party. If you know anything about The Bachelor you know that means one thing…drama.
Everyone thinks Alayah is fake. I mean, it’s a show about finding a wife among a group of women with the average age of 23, but sure, she’s the fake one. It wasn’t long before all the talk about Alayah had Peter convinced that she was a Jed Wyatt in a pageant girl’s body. Alayah tried hard to dig herself out from the hole they’d created for her, and she was nearly there, when Victoria P. kicked her all the way back in. It ends up that Victoria P. knew Alayah on the pageant circuit, but Alayah asked Victoria P. to lie about it before filming. Just like that, any trust Peter had in Alayah was gone despite his clear attraction to her. She along with Alexa, Jasmine and Sarah) was sent home at the rose ceremony that night. Or was she?
Coming Up Next Week
The scenes from next week are INSANE you guys. Alayah comes back, and then Victoria F. goes on a date where her ex-boyfriend is the musical guest. I can’t with this show. It’s the actual worst/best.
I feel super confident in my top four from the previous two weeks so I’m not changing a thing. Do you think Peter made the right choice by sending home Alayah? Is there any chance Victoria P. is actually falling in love already? Is Sydney a hero or a villain? Let’s talk!
Heidi is currently obsessed with watching people make bad decisions on TV, being a coastal elite, artificially avoiding any sign of aging, reading feminist romance novels, and getting the biggest laugh at her own expense. She has a husband, 3 kids, a dog and anxiety.