Elizabeth Warren Is Right: All Your Face Needs Is Water

When Cosmopolitan magazine asked Senator Elizabeth Warren about her skincare regimen, she told the interviewer that she doesn’t wash her face. She only uses Ponds moisturizer, day and night.

Some took this to mean she doesn’t touch her face with anything but lotion. They were shocked! And outraged! Why? Because the political discourse in this country is dumb AF. The German word for American election idiocy is “Cilliza.”

But I have some sense, and I surmise Senator Warren does use water. She rinses. You cannot take a shower without getting water on your face. And she probably splashes water on her flawless visage at night before she goes to bed and dreams of improving all our lives.

I can relate to Senator Warren’s skincare regimen, because I also just use water. I use warm water and a washcloth for all my facial ablutions. After the rinse, I use a toner, a Vitamin-C serum or Retinol, depending on the time of day, followed by CeraVe cream. But I never use a soap or cleanser.

My dermatologist once told me, “Why spend money on something that is just going to end up down the drain?”

This makes me wonder what the other candidates are doing to wash their faces. So I investigated…

The Other Contenders

  • Vice President Joe Biden: Whatever Dr. Jill Biden has in the shower
  • Mayor Pete Buttigieg: Irish Spring bar soap
  • Senator Amy Klobuchar: Yes to Cucumbers, which she applies with a comb
  • Senator Cory Booker: Iconic Creme Cleanser from Haus Urban
  • Secretary Julian Castro: Also just water
  • Andrew Yang: Noxema. Because it comes in a blue jar
  • Senator Kamala Harris: I don’t think people in CA can have water or take showers? Thanks, almond growers. Hrmph.
  • Congresswoman Tusli Gabbard: Blood from kittens
  • Marianne Williamson: GOOP Glow
  • Senator Bernie Sanders: Soap he stole from the hospital during his heart attack stay

One last tip…

I use a clean pillow case every night. Water and a freshly laundered cotton case. It’s the best. ElizaBEST.

**Amy did not really investigate.

How you guys wash your faces? Are you Team Water or Team Suds?

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