The Bachelorette Recap: Jenn Tran Takes Her Men Down Under

G’day fellow brain rot Bachelorette fans. It’s week two of Jenn Tran’s journey and she’s already traveling with her reverse harem to Melbourne, Australia.

One woman, eighteen men, and an airplane that crosses the International Date Line? I can sense Booktok salivating over that storyline already.

Melbourne Tourism Board puts in some work

Jenn Tran was like Snow White with her seven dorks on the first group date of the season.

She and Sam N. (eyelash curler), Marvin (spoke French sorta), Brian (stole Jeremy’s car keys), Jonathan (love sick mummy), Aaron (Noah’s twin brother), Grant (tall basketball player), Jeremy (got his car keys stolen), and Devin (Temu Pete Davidson) explored the Queen Victoria Market together.

It was all that you’d expect an early group date to be. You know, trying Vegemite, looking at colorful rugs, and being force fed Kangaroo testicles soaked in whiskey.

How…romantic?

The real fun began when Devin stole Jenn away for a mini gelato date because it made all of the other dorks want to fight him.

Unfortunately, it’s only week two so they were still on their best on-camera behavior.

Fortunately, they were about to have to roast each other in front of a live audience at a comedy festival.

Devin was the butt of every joke, but Devin is a honey badger. He doesn’t give a shit.

I can’t decide if I hate him or respect him. I think that’s kinda his whole vibe.

Jenn Tran and the Seven Dorks

Tensions were running high at the date’s after party that night. When I say tension I mean everyone hates Devin.

Well, everyone except Jenn that is.

Despite it never working once in Bachelor history, Aaron (Noah Erb’s divorced twin brother) decided it was his responsibility to teach Devin how to conduct himself.

There’s no chance this is going to pay off, but Aaron is a literal aerospace engineer wearing a pearl necklace so maybe he knows better?

He does not know better.

Devin was understandably annoyed with Aaron, so took things up a notch when by interrupting Aaron’s time with Jenn.

Obviously, Aaron repaid him by interrupting him back.

Then Devin came back for round three.

Jenn was like the only red ball on the playground being fought over by a tall fifth grader and that one third grader with a big mouth.

Meanwhile, Grant used his time to kiss Jenn and secure the date rose.

Sky diving into love

The next morning, Jenn invited Marcus on the first one-on-one date of the season. Marcus was already on our radar because he had the first introduction package on night one. Also, because he’s a literal Army Ranger who was blown up by a grenade in Afghanistan while serving his country.

Colleen Hoover couldn’t write this.

Things only got sweeter for Marcus (31, Raleigh) when he realized they were going sky diving. Talk about being tossed a lay-up from production. Did I mention he was an Army Ranger? This isn’t his proverbial first rodeo.

It would be like if my first date on the show was shopping with preteens at Sephora. I would dominate.

Marcus’ steadfastness helped Jenn through her fear and also showed her that he could be a good partner.

He further clenched the date rose that night when he was vulnerable about the injuries he sustained and the trauma he endured.

I smell a front runner.

One last group date

If there’s one thing The Bachelorette does well, it’s ruining a good time. Let’s go from the high of a perfect date to the low of a costumed group date featuring Australia’s wildlife.

Jenn and her remaining nine boyfriends (pictured above) took turns posing with animals under various levels of duress for a photographer that was not Franco Lacosta.

There were snakes, monitor lizards, owls, and even some rodents. But, the highlight was definitely Hakeem who pulled the rookie move of saying he was scared of spiders.

I haven’t seen eyes bug out like that since Justin Glaze was on my screen.

In the end, Dylan (24, medical student) won the right to go on a dinner date with Jenn that while while everyone else got sent home disappointed and dissatisfied.

Honey badger don’t care

It should be no surprise that while Dylan was off earning the date rose, the rest of the men where back at their house arguing.

Apparently, when the dejected men were sent home early they all decided that they should get first priority at time with Jenn at the cocktail. You know, because a dating show about fighting over the affections of one woman should be fair.

Devin was like, “Nah,” and stole Jenn away at the first moment.

It’s important to note that this move came on the heels of Aaron offering Devin a self-help book about emotional intelligence. Yes, this was undoubtedly a wink and a nod to Tayshia’s season when Aaron’s twin brother, Noah, was gifted a similar book from his arch nemesis Bennett.

All that to say, Devin doesn’t have any effs left to give. If he wants to talk to Jenn, he’s going to talk to Jenn until the moment she says otherwise. No one else can stop him.

That didn’t stop Thomas N. from interrupting Devin and Jenn so that he could yell at him for breaking bro-code.

Jenn was eavesdropping around the corner and nodding along when Devin said Thomas was taking away Jenn’s autonomy.

Thomas got his time with Jenn but it was at the cost of his dignity, because Jenn had the ick. She doesn’t want the men making decisions for her, it’s her show.

So she ran off and made out with first impression rose winner Sam M. while the men kept fighting.

Rose Ceremony

Finally, the men were standing on the choir risers hoping to receive one of the twelve remaining roses.

Marcus, Dylan, and Grant already has roses on their lapels from their dates which meant three men would be sent packing.

Jenn waited until the very last rose to save Thomas N. despite his embarrassing behavior. That meant Brian, Jahaan, and Marvin were going home.

The drama between Devin and all of the other men lives to see another week. Hopefully my desire to keep watching this show will as well.