Let Amy introduce you to a few Bachelorette randos

Heidi is the resident Bachelor/Bachelorette savant, truly the Lord’s work. But she has had a DAY, distance learning/homeschooling/not murdering, so I (Amy) thought I would help her out by introducing you to some of the newest Bachelorette contestants.

Do I watch this show? Nope.

Am I psychic? Maybe a little.

Can I give you these dudes’ bios from pics alone? Absolutely.

I now present to you: the men who are looking to win some lady’s heart! (editor’s note: her name is Clare)

Let’s do this thing!

Name: Edd (with 2 Ds)*

Occupation: Plant breeder/GMO advocate**

College: University of Wisconsin (Big 10)

Fun fact: Collects old U.S. News and World Report magazines

*This Joe.

**He’s an anesthesiologist.



Name: Rudy*

Occupation: Enterprise security solutions salesman

College: Purdue (Big 10)

Fun fact: Designs serif fonts in his spare time

*This is Garin

**He’s a professor of journalism at the University of Southern California.


Name: Thatcher “Thatch” Lively*

Occupation: Beverage entrepreneur. His craft hard seltzer, Kewl Aid, can be found in three Aurora, CO, liquor stores.**

College: Ohio State (Big 10)

Fun fact: Has a genetic mutation that doesn’t allow him to grow toenails

*This is Kenny.

**He’s a boy band manager.


Name: Scott*

Occupation: STEAM advocate/grifter**

College: University of Michigan (Big 10)

Fun fact: He actually thinks your stick figure family is cute.

*This is Bennett.

**He’s a Wealth Management Consultant.




Name: Sylvan*

Occupation: Little Caesar’s franchise operator. Pizza pizza!**

College: Northwestern (Big 10)

Fun fact: Knows the name of every female character killed off in the James Bond franchise

*This is Dale.

**He’s a former NFL player and current model/brand ambassador.


Name: Theo*

Occupation: Jerry Falwell Jr’s personal trainer.**

College: Michigan State (Big 10)

Fun fact: Won a planking contest in contest, holding it for 69 minutes. Nice.

*This is Chasen.

**He’s an IT account executive.


Name: Shane*

Occupation: DMV manager**

College: Indiana (Big 10)

Fun fact: Worked as a stand-in for Tom Cruise on the set of “War of the Worlds”

*This is Zach J.

**He owns a Utah cleaning service company.



Name: Kevin*

Occupation: Middle school math teacher.**

College: University of Illinois (Big 10)

Fun fact: He refers to his rock-hard abs as his “common core.”

*This is Riley.

*He’s a medical malpractice attorney.



Name: Gerald*

Occupation: Weatherman for Waffle House Corp.**

College: University of Minnesota (Big 10)

Fun fact: Collects classic cars like the Mazda Miata

*This is Ivan.

**He’s an aeronautical engineer.


Name: Josh*

Occupation: Glass blower**

College: University of Iowa (Big 10)

Fun fact: Knows someone who was almost on a plane on 9/11, but that someone ended up changing their flight.

*This is Blake Moynes.

**He is a Canada wildlife manager.


How did I do?* Pretty sure I nailed it. Good luck, Claire. Lots of “dudes can wear jewelry, too” energy in this bunch. Love, Amy xoxo

*Not great, Amy, not great.

Catch all of Heidi’s Bachelorette coverage here.

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