Let Amy introduce you to a few Bachelorette randos
Heidi is the resident Bachelor/Bachelorette savant, truly the Lord’s work. But she has had a DAY, distance learning/homeschooling/not murdering, so I (Amy) thought I would help her out by introducing you to some of the newest Bachelorette contestants.
Do I watch this show? Nope.
Am I psychic? Maybe a little.
Can I give you these dudes’ bios from pics alone? Absolutely.
I now present to you: the men who are looking to win some lady’s heart! (editor’s note: her name is Clare)
Let’s do this thing!
Name: Edd (with 2 Ds)*
Occupation: Plant breeder/GMO advocate**
College: University of Wisconsin (Big 10)
Fun fact: Collects old U.S. News and World Report magazines
*This Joe.
**He’s an anesthesiologist.
Name: Rudy*
Occupation: Enterprise security solutions salesman
College: Purdue (Big 10)
Fun fact: Designs serif fonts in his spare time
*This is Garin
**He’s a professor of journalism at the University of Southern California.
Name: Thatcher “Thatch” Lively*
Occupation: Beverage entrepreneur. His craft hard seltzer, Kewl Aid, can be found in three Aurora, CO, liquor stores.**
College: Ohio State (Big 10)
Fun fact: Has a genetic mutation that doesn’t allow him to grow toenails
*This is Kenny.
**He’s a boy band manager.
Name: Scott*
Occupation: STEAM advocate/grifter**
College: University of Michigan (Big 10)
Fun fact: He actually thinks your stick figure family is cute.
*This is Bennett.
**He’s a Wealth Management Consultant.
Name: Sylvan*
Occupation: Little Caesar’s franchise operator. Pizza pizza!**
College: Northwestern (Big 10)
Fun fact: Knows the name of every female character killed off in the James Bond franchise
*This is Dale.
**He’s a former NFL player and current model/brand ambassador.
Name: Theo*
Occupation: Jerry Falwell Jr’s personal trainer.**
College: Michigan State (Big 10)
Fun fact: Won a planking contest in contest, holding it for 69 minutes. Nice.
*This is Chasen.
**He’s an IT account executive.
Name: Shane*
Occupation: DMV manager**
College: Indiana (Big 10)
Fun fact: Worked as a stand-in for Tom Cruise on the set of “War of the Worlds”
*This is Zach J.
**He owns a Utah cleaning service company.
Name: Kevin*
Occupation: Middle school math teacher.**
College: University of Illinois (Big 10)
Fun fact: He refers to his rock-hard abs as his “common core.”
*This is Riley.
*He’s a medical malpractice attorney.
Name: Gerald*
Occupation: Weatherman for Waffle House Corp.**
College: University of Minnesota (Big 10)
Fun fact: Collects classic cars like the Mazda Miata
*This is Ivan.
**He’s an aeronautical engineer.
Name: Josh*
Occupation: Glass blower**
College: University of Iowa (Big 10)
Fun fact: Knows someone who was almost on a plane on 9/11, but that someone ended up changing their flight.
*This is Blake Moynes.
**He is a Canada wildlife manager.
How did I do?* Pretty sure I nailed it. Good luck, Claire. Lots of “dudes can wear jewelry, too” energy in this bunch. Love, Amy xoxo
*Not great, Amy, not great.
Catch all of Heidi’s Bachelorette coverage here.
