If there were ever a year to fully embrace your inner basic B it’s this one. Pull out those knee-high boots and scarves, curl your hair into cascading waves, weigh down your inner elbow with an oversized bag/PSL, and make a plan to vote early. Then take it all off because you really shouldn’t be going anywhere anyway (unless it’s to drop off your ballot).
Instead, let’s stay home and celebrate the real reason for the season, The Bachelorette is finally almost here!
Typically, at this time of year, we’d be donning our mourning clothes to memorialize the end of Bachelor in Paradise, and starting the long wait until January for a new season of The Bachelor. Instead, thanks to the end of the world as we know it, we are getting a new season of The Bachelorette starting Tuesday, October 13.
We’ll take the wins where we can get them. Here’s what you need to prepare yourself for the dawn of Bachelorette SZN.
Get to Know The Bachelorette‘s Clare Crawley
Listen, there are rumors upon rumors about Clare’s journey as the Bachelorette. I don’t do spoilers here, but I think it’s safe to say that it’s going to be the most dramatic season ever. You can read more about Clare in the introduction post I wrote back in March during a more innocent time.
Get to Know the 31 Men of the Cast
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I don’t know what kind of human male thinks it’s a good idea to sign up for a dating show being filmed in the desert in July during a pandemic, but I can’t wait to find out. Read all about the (mostly) gainfully employed cast of The Bachelorette in my post giving them unsolicited advice, or you can read Amy make guesses about who they are based solely on their headshots.
Join The Cool Table’s Fantasy League
Now that you know everything there is to know about Clare and her future ex-boyfriends, it’s time to join our Bachelorette fantasy league. It’s just like a football fantasy league, except you earn points by guessing things like who will cry the most each episode. The winner gets a prize and my begrudging respect for beating me. Again.
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Along with my weekly recaps, which post the morning after every episode, I run a Bachelor meme page that is utterly ridiculous; just like the belief that you could fall in love on a TV show after 6 weeks.
With that, we are officially ready for Bachelorette SZN coming Tuesday, October 13th, on ABC. We earned this.
Heidi is currently obsessed with watching people make bad decisions on TV, being a coastal elite, artificially avoiding any sign of aging, reading feminist romance novels, and getting the biggest laugh at her own expense. She has a husband, 3 kids, a dog and anxiety.