Let’s Wrap It Up: The Best of Pop Culture 2024
During a conference call last week, my co-worker said, “Can you believe we are almost 25% done with this current century?” To which I replied, “How dare you, Yvonne. How *!!!%$# dare you.”
2024 was a year of highs and lows, and when Jon Bon Jovi tells us that “life ain’t a merry go round, it’s a roller coaster,” I call bullshit. We aren’t on a roller coaster. We are on the gotdam Scrambler at the county fair, and I want to get off. My guts, brain, and knees can’t take all this slinging around. Will 2025 be better? Unlikely. Pluto is in Aquarius, and we better start praying to the saints to preserve the health of Pete Hegseth’s sober coach.
So before things get really terrible and the polio zombies appear, let’s look back at some of the fun pop culture moments of 2024. Most of them happened before November 4th. Weird.
Best Monoculture, Paris Olympics
Monoculture is tough when there are streaming services that drop an entire season at once — splat! — and the population has asynchronous viewing habits. Add monoculture to the list of things late stage capitalism has stolen from us. However, every four years, the Summer Olympics goes live for two weeks and we all come together as a globe to get jingoistic without bombs. Editor’s note: When reading that last sentence, ignore everything happening in Ukraine and Palestine.
Could the Paris Olympics bring us all together for some single mindedness? Yes, they can can can. So many amazing Olympic moments had us all chattering over on the Bad Place for two solid weeks. The Opening Ceremony was a fever dream. Serena Williams and Rafa Nadal stood in a dramatic downpour holding the Olympic Flame while a bunch of Marie Antoinettes held their own heads. Republicans won gold in their favorite event: false outrage and centering themselves.
Paris gave us so many moments while triggering many Google searches like, “What is women’s rugby sevens?” Yusuf Dikec is a Turkish assassin and silver fox, and he made me not be mad about guns for five minutes. The French pole vaulter gave me a reason to run around saying “sa bite,” which is French for “his dick,” and I know this because I live with a Frenchman. Stef Curry was dropping threes and saying “bon nuit,” and please note, that’s rhymes. American weightlifter Olivia Reeves set an Olympic record for lifting a heavy object without destroying her back. Pommel horse guy, Stephen Nedoroscik, was The Sound of Music’s “I Have Confidence” come to life. And Australian break-dancer-cum-scam-goddess-cum-Minecraft-creeper, Raygun, inspired Halloween costumes everywhere.
The one Olympics moment that will live for ever is Snoop Dogg, leaving us with the image we will use again and again in 2025. Example, RFK and Nancy Mace were hooking up in a men’s bathroom and his brain worm escaped and now it’s growing inside her:
Best Rap Beef Explanation for White People, Josh Johnson Explaining Drake vs Kendrick
H/t to my friend Aida for reminding me that comedian Josh Johnson breaking through was a good thing that happened in 2024.
Best Television Guest Star, Jenn Lyon
Source: Hulu
The moment I saw her on FX’s English Teacher, I was smitten. The second she opened her moth and spoke, I was in love with Linda Harrison. Linda (Jenn Lyon) has what every Texas mother needs to succeed: Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader hair and the perfect, pinched accent filled with love, light, and “are you stupid or something?”
Linda is booked and busy. Inventor! Restauranteur! Restaurantess? High school booster! Unhappy with her daughter’s failing grade in English class, Linda uses a lady Republican’s favorite weapon: creating moral panic at the local school board meeting. If English Teacher doesn’t get a second season, I would gladly accept a Linda Harrison spinoff in its place. Linda invented a new appetizer (steak tips disguised as chicken fingers) and a most delicious drink (the Double Sprite). What can’t this woman do?
We put double syrup in the Sprites and that’s why I didn’t ask y’all what you wanted to drink because nobody gets out of here without trying my Double Sprite. – Linda
English Teacher is streaming on Hulu.
Best Nonfiction Read, Prescription for Pain by Philip Eil
Source: Penguin Random House
In his debut book, Prescription for Pain: How a Once-Promising Doctor Became the “Pill Mill Killer,” Philip Eil exposes the devastating consequences of capitalism placing its claws in medicine and a disconnected system that fails to protect us. Eil weaves the tragic fall of his father’s University of Chicago classmate, Dr. Paul Volkman, from physician to felon, currently serving four consecutive life sentences, Volkman’s “pill mill” clinics in southern Ohio, responsible for at least 12 opioid-related deaths. For an industry that gives a lot of lip service to “better patient outcomes,” the massive American healthcare system including — for-profit pharma and the DEA — are failing us.
Volkman is a terrifying villain. A man in a hurry, blind to the humanity of the most vulnerable. Eil’s extensive research revealed a pattern, as Volkman left a trail of malpractice lawsuits before his arrival in small Ohio River towns, working as a locum tenens physician in emergency rooms across the Midwest. To me, this was the most chilling part of the story. If the healthcare industry has its own Night Stalker, the transient nature of locum tenens offers the perfect darkness in which to hide.
What makes Eil the perfect person to tell this story is that, unlike Volkman, he never forgets the humanity of the victims. Eil visits these ravaged towns and the gravesites they hold, describing each one with great care and detail. He also remembers that Volkmann’s victims include the loved ones left behind. He speaks to Melissa Ratcliff, the wife of Ernest Ratcliff who died from …,
During one of our conversations, she told me that her current life was nothing like ii had once been. She rarely goes out. She doesn’t travel, doesn’t go shopping, and doesn’t exercise much….Some days, she’ll sleep fourteen hours or more; other days, she’s in excruciating pain. “I don’t really live here anymore,” she said.
Best New Real Housewife, Bronwyn Newport
Bronwyn Newport — of the Pawnee Newports — is the perfect addition to Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Last season was wild (receipts, proof, timelines, and screenshots) and viewers were worried if this season would have the juice. It does, and that juice is Cranberry Bronwyn from employee-owned Ocean Spray. First off, she’s rich. Like rich rich. Like, “goes to Art Basel to buy” rich. Second, she loves fashun, consistently rocking chic looks from Christian Siriano, Givenchy, and Spirit Halloween. With some people, like Kyrsten Sinema, the clothes wear them. But with Bronwyn? She wears the clothes. And third, she is not afraid to get messy. A lot of newbie Housewives start out meek and unsure, but Bronwyn has battled with RHOSLC queen bees Heather Gay and Lisa Barlow from jump. I expected nothing less from a woman who spent her 20s in “capital F” Finance.
Every city of Real Housewives is streaming on Peacock.
Best Ear Worm, Samantha Carpenter’s “Please, Please, Please”
If I had a dollar for every time I sang “Heartbreak is one thing, my ego’s another. I beg you, don’t embarrass me, motherfucker,” I would be a mega donor to the Democratic party. Maybe then, they would listen to me.
Best Comeback, Celine Dion at the Paris Olympics
In December 2019, Gilles and I had the privilege to see Celine Dion perform at Boston Garden, her final concert before the pandemic shut down the world. And as the world began to open up, Celine continued to cancel subsequent shows as she was suffering with an unknown illness.
When she finally announced what that illness was — she had been diagnosed with the rare stiff person’s syndrome —, I was devastated. I love Celine and I knew what she was in for because my mother also suffers from the same autoimmune disease. It’s fucking brutal. There are only three hospitals in the US that are actively seeking new treatments for ataxia and GAD-related movement disorders, and luckily, my mother is close enough to drive to one of them. When Celine said there is very little research, she wasn’t lying.
So when Celine emerged in the pouring rain to sing Hymne à l’amour at Paris Opening Ceremonies, I was a mess. A goddess in beaded Dior couture, standing on the Eiffel Tower, Celine belted out the Edith Piaf’s lyrics with knowing very few of us have.
Nous aurons pour nous l’éternitéDans le bleu de toute l’immensitéDans le ciel, plus de problème
We will have for us, eternity. In the blue of all the immensity. In the sky, heaven, no more problems.
I love you, Celine. I love you, Mom.
Best Product Placement, Nespresso in Conclave
The set designers for Conclave did an amazing job, not only building an entire Sistine Chapel on a soundstage and but also recreating the Vatican living quarters which are akin to an IBM office space in Armonk, New York, circa 1961. When Cardinal Tremblay (John Lithgow) makes a coffee while arguing with Cardinal Lawrence (Ralph Fiennes), he powers up the Nespresso in his dorm room. The Catholic Church loves mystery and old customs, with the cardinals prancing around in jaunty hats, and embroidered sashes, while they whisper and scheme. The Nespresso was a delightful touch of modernity. Maybe the Catholic Church loves mystery, and it also loves a convenient cuppa! If any DJs are listening, I would like a remix of Gregorian chants and the whirring beats of the Nespresso machine.
Conclave is streaming on Peacock.
Best Fashion Moment, Demi Moore’s Yellow Coat
Source: Working Title Films
The Substance was very good and very disturbing. Maybe don’t suggest it for Christmas Eve movie night with the family. Or do? I love mess. French director and writer Coralie Fargeat has given us the perfect body horror film because that is how women feel about our aging bodies: horrified. TV fitness host Elizabeth Sparkle (Demi Moore) understands that her youth and beauty — and tight ass — are paramount, so when she can no longer fight the effects of time and gravity, the world sees her as worthless. The solution is “the substance,” a beauty system that literally rips Elizabeth body apart so a more youthful Elizabeth (Margaret Qualley) can emerge.
As someone who is considering* a $3500 NeoGen anti-aging procedure, I watched this movie knowing “this fucking play is about us.” Elizabeth’s lonely apartment is a metaphor for the female brain, where we spend so much time being violent to ourselves, hating our bodies after having the audacity of making it to another birthday. The Substance is bloody and gory, but instead of covering my eyes, I covered my ears because the sound of bones and cartilage snapping makes me want to die. This movie put me through it, and as the credits rolled, my friends and I sat in stunned silence. And then I said what needed to be said. “So, who makes that yellow coat? Because I want to buy it.”
*I’m not really considering. My entire 2025 budget will go to re-grading and fixing my busted-up driveway.
The Substance is streaming on Fandango at Home.
Best Song for Your Workout Mix, TGIF by GloRilla
Got a million and one haters and they all can kiss my ass (mu-wah). – GloRilla
Best Trailer, Severance
Damn, took y’all long enough! Severance is back in January 2025, after the first season wrapped way back in April 2022.
I am dying to wear my Helly cosplay again.
Severance returns January 17th to Apple TV+.
Other Notable Bests
Best Fiction: The Ministry of Time of Time by Kaliane Bradley. If you want more books recs, ask Beth. I mostly read old WW2 books I find at thrift stores. Why? Because I love WW2 and and I love books that smell like cigarettes.
Best Show I Forgot to Finish: Shōgun. The problem with Shōgun is that you have to be in a headspace to watch. As in, eyeballs on the screen for the entire 55 minutes. I love a show with subtitles, but this year I struggled to pay attention. But the show is really good and really horny. Everyone is beautiful in a beautiful setting, and it elevated Japanese treasure Tadanobu Satō to greater stardom, with Emmy and Golden Globe nominations. My 2025 resolution? Finish Shōgun.
Best Taylor Swift Era’s Tour Experience: Munich, Germany. On a warm summer evening in July, tens of thousands of fans filled the hills behind Munich’s Olympic Stadium. How do I know? I was there with my beautiful niece, Callie.
Best Sports Moment: University of South Carolina defeats Iowa, to win the NCAA Women’s Basketball final in the most-watched women’s basketball final ever. As a Clemson graduate, I never pull for Carolina, but this year, I made an exception because Dawn Staley is a real one.
Best Tennis Final: Aryna Sabalenka wins the US Open. Was this an exciting match? Eh. Did my favorite gorgeous goober win. Yes.
