Welcome back, Bachelor Nation, your girl is fully vaccinated and ready for shot girl summer. By that I obviously mean I’m fully vaccinated and prepared to sit on my couch every Monday night for the foreseeable future watching The Bachelorette. Bring on
men desperate for clout Katie Thurston!
Here’s everything you need to know about the newest Bachelorette, Katie, before her season premieres on June 7th.
Yes, Katie Thurston is Vibrator Girl
What you pretend you want to know is that Katie is a 30-year-old bank marketing manager from Renton, Washington. What you actually want to know is that, yes, she showed up on night one of Matt James’s season with a giant sparkly dildo. We love a sex-positive queen, but this was, dare I say, ballsy.
Drama on Matt’s Season
Some of the other women on Matt’s season hated that Katie brought the vibrator. Or maybe they hated that she wielded it like a queen knighting her faithful servants and gave it the same name as another woman on the cast. Who could say?
Either way, she was involved in a lot of drama during the season.
Now, Matt’s season had more drama than the occupants of a middle school girls locker room with synced menstrual cycles, but still, she was involved. She’s The Bachelorette today because the audience loved her for standing up to the bullies. However, the other women on the season overwhelmingly did not enjoy her.
She’s Really Good At TikTok
Long before Katie Thurston was on The Bachelor, she was killing it at the TikTok game. Forget the days of being mad that the season’s cast wants to be Instagram influencers, now they have to actually be funny. Thankfully, Katie is.
She’s relatable, opinionated, and just really good at TikTok. It’s okay, I hear the jealousy in my tone too.
@ventwithkatieDo you remember your first DM slide or fan letter mailed?♬ SUNNY DAY – Matteo Rossanese
Katie Thurston Knows Herself
In the days of influencers being afraid to have an opinion that will divide their audience, Katie is like, “Nah.”
She has been vocally supportive of sex positivity, Black Lives Matter, stopping AAPI hate, body positivity, female empowerment, LGBTQIA rights, and a whole host of other progressive issues. I, for one, am here for it.
In the wake of the disaster of Matt’s season, I don’t want another lead who is afraid to say what they think. I want an opinionated, self-assured, confident woman who will kick some tomfoolery ass.
Bring on, Katie Thurston.
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Katie Thurston’s season of The Bachelorette premieres Monday, June 7th on ABC. I’ll meme and recap the entire as per usual. Pray for me and don’t forget to join our Bachelorette Fantasy League.
Heidi is currently obsessed with watching people make bad decisions on TV, being a coastal elite, artificially avoiding any sign of aging, reading feminist romance novels, and getting the biggest laugh at her own expense. She has a husband, 3 kids, a dog and anxiety.