Late-Tweet Watching Run on HBO

When I first saw the trailer for Run on HBO, I knew it was going to be my spring TV obsession. Merritt Wever and Domhnall Gleeson in a sexy, saucy, suspense thriller/comedy from Phoebe-Waller Bridge? That hits all my kinks.

What I knew about Run when I queued up the first episode was that Merritt Wever’s character, Ruby, and Domhnall Gleeson’s character, Billy, were going to be funny and flirty with one another on a train and a road trip of some sort until they got into all kind of trouble. I think what we are getting with these seven episodes will be so much more.

So, if you haven’t watched it already, queue it up and watch along with me. These are the tweets I would have made if I’d been watching it live.

Late Tweet Watching Run on HBO

In Which We Are Introduced to Her

The opening scene shows Merritt’s character in a Target/Ralph’s parking lot looking dejected, frustrated and at bit at sea. She takes a call from her husband about being home for some workmen, but when she gets a text from Billy reading, “RUN” her pulse spikes. She peels out, rushes to LAX, gets the first ticket to NYC and then freshens herself in the station.

What kind of parking lot/highway road hybrid are we looking at?

Hey, main character whose name I don’t know yet: I think Elvis is telling you, “Don’t.”

Who on the other end of that phone is making Merritt Wever, the badass of Godless and Walking Dead and Unbelievable diminish herself by conversing in this baby-talk nonsense? I reject it.

Ooooo, who is Billy and are you in trouble or did you just wet your pants looking at his text message?

This girl just made a choice. A CHOICE.

I’m not sure you’re indecisive since you just took off your restrictive neck scarf and skipped town, but I like when you yell, so get BIG MAD at the Delta lady.

Grand Central has restrooms, right? Utilize one.

Oh she just slapped her bits. This girl left town and her husband (I saw that wedding ring) and whatever she was doing in that Target parking lot to get LAID.

In Which We Are Introduced to Him

She makes it to the Amtrak station, doesn’t answer her husband’s texts and runs directly into Domhnall Gleeson (Billy) who is on the phone telling Fiona that he’s in Scotland. Their glances are already hot, but then they sit together and the real tension begins. He can tell she’s spooked, and holds her hand there. A heavy dose of flirting and “fucks” later, they look like they are going to explode with sexual tension. This is Billy, a guy she hasn’t seen in 15 years, who doesn’t know anything personal about her anymore, but who she dropped everything to meet.

This music is very romper-esque and fun.

I really want her to tell her husband some very simple lie. Just do it.

Ooooo, this is him. And this is not a relationship where you hug hello after a long separation.

Why is Bill Weasley super hot right now? THIS SHOW IS KILLING ME.

Oh that hand hold is Darcy levels of hot.

“Today that shows sexual arousal.” No lies detected.

Why are we talking about pigs? OH … for foreplay. Got it.

I like this old couple too. I hope they go do it in their roomette.

“All handsome” is the best delivery of any line in the history of ever.

All of this hand touching is making it VERY clear that she took off her wedding ring.

He doesn’t know what MORATORIUM means. Hirsute, I am charmed.

In Which There is a Lot of Foreplay

Ruby (we know her name now) and Billy decide to be adorable and sexy at the same time and chase each other into the dining car, where Ruby promptly announces that she needs the bathroom. While Billy rummages through her bag, she rummages in her panties to take the edge off. As she’s coming back to their seat, he’s looking at an email – from the mysterious Fiona – that announces some meltdown of his has gone viral. They decide the moratorium on personal things could be bent for at least one thing. She tells him she’s an architect. He’s a life coach and has written a book called Amazing. Period. which she hates on sight and berates him for. So it’s HIS turn for a bathroom trip.

Oh she’s giving him the boob brush.

ARE THEY RUNNING ON THIS TRAIN? I don’t approve. But I do like the sexiness.

The falling into the booth was very reminiscent of Fleabag for me. Oh … so is this masturbating in the toilets. OHKAY.

In this time of Corona, I am very weirded out by the bathroom wank.

Oh, he has seeekrits.

He’s impressed with her and wants her to desperately be impressed with him. Hirsute, the book.

Girl, you know TOO MUCH about him to keep pushing the narrative that you haven’t been checking in on him.

BATHROOM WANK PART DEUX

That lunch looks too good for an Amtrak train.

In Which It Gets Awkward

When Billy gets back from the bathroom, she’s gone. They meet up in another car, share smirks and then retire to the roomette that she’s reserved. He thinks the attendant recognizes him, but really what kind of public figure has a name like Billy Johnson? They finally get down to some real topic of discussion after Ruby tries to talk to her husband on the phone to no avail. She’s feeling the pressure. Billy acts like an ass, and says he texted her because he was drunk. Angry, she confronts him some more and starts to have a panic attack, which he recognizes immediately and calms down. Then he tells her, he didn’t want to see anyone in his life, but her.

The pooped his pants prank is a fun one. Team Ruby!

Merritt Wever is ADORABLY smirky.

But I guess after those orgasms, they are a little wary of one another.

Of course Bill Weasley knows how the roomettes work. He’s been on the Hogwarts Express.

Are they gonna do it on this weird train bed??? NoooOOOOoOoo. #CoronaWoes

Is Billy Johnson his real name AND his stage name? It’s not a good one.

I don’t like these texts from her husband; they are making me anxious.

Surely trains have connectivity and wifi.

I’ve been wondering why he texted as well, Ruby. Please get an answer to this question.

“I was drunk.” No, no sir.

They do a lot of running around. No one else is even walking around.

He knows how to soothe her panics! This is love!

I do not believe that Fiona is just a PA.

“Then I thought of you.” Domhnall Gleeson, thank you for selling this line.

In Which It Gets Tense

The train stops for a short time in the station and Ruby gets off, ostensibly to smoke, but walks to the street to get reception to call her husband. It looks increasingly like she’s not going to make the train before it leaves. Billy looks for her all over the train and platform, and starts to panic that she’s not boarded and has left him. He misses his opportunity to get off, and we think she’s gone. He is, it would seem, disproportionately upset. And then we see her, panting, barely made it. When her bag spills, Billy finds her phone and the lock screen with her husband and two children on it. PA system: their roomette is ready.

Is this cheek kiss all we are getting???

Girl, that exit to the street is an entire half a block away from the platform.

Oh no. She’s not gonna make it.

I hate Amtrak trains. In general. A lot of utilitarian metal trim. Ew.

Oh he’s big mad that she’s gone.

Oh no, he’s big SAD that she’s gone.

She’s there!!! His relief is embarrassing.

Did she get drunk on the way back from the street?

Awww dammit. She’s got kids.

The roomette is ready. MAKE MORE KIDS WITH HIM!

In Which the Good Stuff is Yet to Come

I cannot wait for next week.

This is going to be so much fun. Run airs on Sunday nights on HBO.

So tell me, who do you think initiated the meet-up? Are you pro-bathroom wank or not? 

 

 

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