What Meghan and Harry can Teach Us about Boundaries

Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex and Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex made international news this week with an Instagram post announcing their plan to step back as senior members of Britain’s royal family.

Season seven of The Crown is going to be wild.


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“After many months of reflection and internal discussions, we have chosen to make a transition this year in starting to carve out a progressive new role within this institution. We intend to step back as ‘senior’ members of the Royal Family and work to become financially independent, while continuing to fully support Her Majesty The Queen. It is with your encouragement, particularly over the last few years, that we feel prepared to make this adjustment. We now plan to balance our time between the United Kingdom and North America, continuing to honour our duty to The Queen, the Commonwealth, and our patronages. This geographic balance will enable us to raise our son with an appreciation for the royal tradition into which he was born, while also providing our family with the space to focus on the next chapter, including the launch of our new charitable entity. We look forward to sharing the full details of this exciting next step in due course, as we continue to collaborate with Her Majesty The Queen, The Prince of Wales, The Duke of Cambridge and all relevant parties. Until then, please accept our deepest thanks for your continued support.” – The Duke and Duchess of Sussex For more information, please visit sussexroyal.com (link in bio) Image © PA

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There are dozens of reputable news sources with nuanced analyses of what this means for the Commonwealth. To be honest, I’m unqualified to offer an in-depth discussion of who owns Frogmore Cottage. However, I’m more than qualified to talk about setting personal boundaries.

What Harry and Meghan can teach us about boundaries

Meghan has been hounded by a racist agenda from the moment she and Harry stepped into the Sunken Garden at Kensington Palace to announce their engagement. She’s been described as too black, too old, too divorced, too American, too pregnant, too small, too opinionated, too everything.

She didn’t fit the mold of what people imagined for the sweet redhead prince they remember mourning for his mother. Thus she was relentlessly abused in the press.

Meanwhile, Harry (we’ve been on a first name basis ever since I saw those pictures of him in Vegas) lived through the death of his mother, Princess Diana, due to the same pressure his wife and child were now facing.

So what do they do?

Do they stay quiet for the sake of the family’s reputation? Do they continue interacting at holidays with that one uncle who is an accused pedophile? Really, do they keep calm and carry on?

No, they quit.

They put their marriage, their mental health, their child and themselves above the immense familial pressure they’ve been burdened with for years. They said, “no more” and they set boundaries.

There’s a lesson there for all of us.

I don’t know where you need to set a boundary today; but if a black, 38 year-old, American divorcée can quit the British royal family and come out on top with a husband who worships her and a child that is too cute for words, then you can quit your toxic situation too.

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