The Bachelor Recap: Who’s Going to Hometowns?

Heidi

Heidi is currently obsessed with watching people make bad decisions…

Joey Graziadei is physically still in Canada for his seventh week as The Bachelor but mentally he’s deep in his feels. Our boy is stressed.

On the one hand, he has six amazing women who want to introduce him to their families during Hometown dates next week.

On the other, he can only take four of them.

Oh, and, what if the woman he chooses doesn’t like him back and he makes a decision that he regrets for the rest of his life that leaves him heartbroken and humiliated on international television and mocked on Instagram meme pages run by moms?

He’s miserable. Let’s watch.

O Canada

The seventh episode of The Bachelor opened with Joey driving a motorcycle through the Canadian Rocky Mountains in Jasper National Park.

If you’ve been a faithful member of Bachelor Nation since 2013, you’ll remember Jasper as the location where Tierra faked having hypothermia during Sean Lowes’ season.

I wonder if she still can’t control her eyebrow.

Joey’s eyebrows seemed fine while he played tennis with Jesse and expressed how stressed he is about choosing who goes to hometowns. He’s really scared that he’s going to pick someone who doesn’t love him back.

bachelor joey — Rachel, Kelsey A., Daisy, Jenn, Maria, and Kelsey T.

Meanwhile, Daisy, both Kelseys, Jenn, Rachel, and Maria were all freaking out about who would be the first to the get their second one-on-one date of the season. They’re feeling insecure, jealous, and anxious about introducing a guy to their family who has multiple other girlfriends.

I can’t imagine why.

The Bachelor loves a good horse ride

In a surprise to no-one who has been paying attention, Daisy got the first one-on-one date of the week.

You’ll remember Daisy as the sweet 25-year-old Minnesotan who has a cochlear implant due to the hearing loss she experienced during a slew of illnesses in her youth.

Between the swelling music every time she’s on screen and the bedroom eyes from Joey, it is clear to me that Daisy has a one way ticket to hometowns if she wants it.

However, Daisy hasn’t had a one-on-one date with Joey since the second episode of the season so she has some very valid reservations.

Push those reservations to the side, Daisy, it’s horse riding and hot tubbing in the middle of a random field on public property time!

At dinner that night, Joey and Daisy sat in some awkward silence before Joey finally got the nerve up to ask what she’s feeling. Daisy told him that her feelings are strong for him but she is not in love with him yet.

She was not going to say “I love you” just to get a rose.

Joey’s internal monologue was like, “WHAT?! You’re not in love with me while I have multiple girlfriends and haven’t spent time alone with you for weeks on end? How could you do this to me?!?”

But he’s our well-therapized king so he stayed calm and reassured her that he sees a future with her. He emphasized that he understands how significant it would be to meet her family who are protective of her after her illnesses.

Most importantly, he told her that he sees a future so clearly that he wanted her to have the date rose.

Daisy is going to hometowns.

She reacted with complete glee like she never had any reservations.

Girl, why are you stressing this poor man out for nothing? We all know you want him.

Lumber Jills

No one wants to be on a group date, but it’s especially bad when it’s the last group date of the season and you have to compete in a lumberjack competition.

Just put these poor women out of their misery already.

Kelsey T., Rachel, Maria and Jenn had to chop wood, toss logs, and chug elk milk all while wearing unflattering plaid.

Joey is great, but he’s not worth this.

Kelsey T. won the game, but the real competition kicked in when Jenn kissed Joey in front of the other women while he was supposed to be doing interviews with producers.

This was a classic “those aren’t the rules of the game,” moment where someone breaks the unspoken social contract of the show. The other women looked like they wanted to tie Jenn to one of the logs and throw her into the lake.

That should make the after party fun

After Jenn’s extra curricular activity things were tense, but it only got worse at the after party. Everyone knew that this was their last chance to convince Joey to take them to hometowns.

Jenn used her time to tell Joey that her family will be unlike other families at hometowns. Her Vietnamese mother does not understand this show or many aspects of American culture at all. In fact, Jenn has never brought a romantic partner home to meet her because the cultural differences can be stark.

Kelsey T. told Joey that her feelings are really strong. She said her heart feels full when she’s with him, but that her hometown will be different because her religious father doesn’t know she is on the show.

Sorry to Kelsey T., but I’d pay so much money to see that play out.

Rachel was the only woman who told Joey she’s 100% comfortable bringing him home to meet her family. Joey audibly sighed with relief and said he needed that.

Then there was Maria who decided to let a little bit of her wild show.

Maria is J-E-A-L-O-U-S and struggling with the format of the show. She has chosen Joey but she wants to be chosen back.

That’s what the raised platform with all of the foliage on it is for on the finale, Maria.

Joey looked exhausted and shocked when Maria implied that she is not sure she could move forward. She ran to the bathroom crying when he asked if she was going to quit and go home.

A few moments later, Maria returned to be like, “Oops, my bad, I was just feeling stressed teehee! I may have overreacted.”

Joey’s neck was practically broken from the emotional whiplash.

Doubling down, Maria said she wouldn’t kiss him because she saw him kiss Jenn and he needed to “learn his lesson.”

Then about four seconds later, she kissed him anyway.

Joey’s face was pure exasperation as he exclaimed, “You’re all over the place woman!”

It was at this exact moment that my husband looked over at me and said, “You know if you were on this show you’d be like this, right?”

Yeah, and you’d like it.

Joey did not hand out the group date rose. They’d have to wait for the rose ceremony.

One last date

Joey spent his last day of the week exploring Jasper with Kelsey A. They shopped for souvenirs, drank hot chocolate, played pool in a pub, and spoke to a “typical Canadian” who talked them into doing a polar plunge.

Kelsey A. (25, New Orleans) has been a clear favorite of Joey’s for weeks and it’s easy to see why. She is open with her feelings for him and vulnerable with the stories of her past. Yet, she also always brings him a sense of calm and fun while doing so.

She makes it easy for him to be with her and on a show like The Bachelor that’s everything.

It seemed like the easiest decision of all for Joey to give her the date rose.

Kelsey A. is going to hometowns.

We need to talk

Much to the shock of Jenn, Maria, Rachel, and Kelsey T., Joey decided to skip the cocktail party. They wouldn’t have one last chance to convince him to take them hometowns.

Or at least three of them wouldn’t, Maria still got her chance because Joey waited until they were all lined up for the ceremony before asking her if they could talk.

Maria bounded past the other women’s shocked faces to go convince Joey to forget her silly little outburst.

When they got alone, Joey was like, “What the hell was that the other night?”

Maria giggled and said, “I just don’t like seeing you with anyone else. I’d never actually leave you.”

The woman has him tied up in knots so he just kinda looked at her and was like, “Can we avoid doing that in the future, please,” before having her rejoin the other woman.