It’s Time to Spring Clean Your Friends List

Based on the number of times that I’ve asked myself if it’s allergies or if it’s COVID-19 recently, it’s safe to assume that spring has officially sprung. April’s unprecedented death toll brought May flowers, or however that saying goes.

With spring and isolation comes the desire to clean all of those places we neglected in the colder months. Everything from expired medication and old toys, to any item of clothing that doesn’t have an elastic waistband, is on the chopping block. However, there’s one crucial area of your life that you can’t afford to neglect.

It’s time to spring clean your social media friends lists.

Just Kon Mari the shit out of it.

That one friend, whose MLM posts you tolerate because her kids are cute, has started posting YouTube links to conspiracy videos? You no longer bring me joy. Unfriend.

Uncle (enter name here) who believes in the existence of a highly sophisticated deep state that is systematically taking away civil liberties, but doesn’t believe in systemic racism? Save that headache for Thanksgiving where it at least makes Meemaw happy. Mute.

The news sites you followed back when the 2016 presidential election made you think you were living in a bubble? Social media is supposed to be fun. Embrace the bubble. Bye!

How about the Instagram fitness influencer who makes you look in the mirror at your totally normal, completely wonderful body like it’s something you should despise? You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life. Unfollow.

Oh and don’t forget the parenting group that used to make you laugh in the middle of the night while you were breastfeeding, but has now devolved into a propaganda farm for memes about how un-American it is to wear a face mask to the grocery store. That’s the sound of the “Leave Group” button being clicked.

Repeat after me: “I don’t owe anyone my time or space.”

Not. One. Single. Person.

If social media is supposed to be an escape, then make it one. It’s not helping anyone IRL if you are harming your mental health by being inundated with harmful messaging; even if it comes from people you love outside of the confines of the internet.

In the words of Mari Kondo, it’s time to look at who and what you have in your virtual life and consider if it, “sparks joy.” So, block, unfriend, unfollow, mute, and sweep them all the way out of the doors of your online life with everything else you’re emptying out of your home this spring.

There’s freedom in carving out space for yourself.

Scroll To Top

Discover more from The Cool Table

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading