What We’re Raving About

What’s good, end of 2019? WHAT’S GOOD.

Here are all the things that happened toward the end of 2019 that we were COMPLETELY obsessed with or TOTALLY hated. Our very first raves at The Cool Table, if you will.

Ten Year Challenge

Your hot take on how Facebook is re-upping its facial recognition software database with every #TenYearChallenge post we make of our own volition is not the point here. The crazy thing about this challenge is that every single woman is out here in the Year of Our Lord 2019 looking AMAZING and GORGEOUS and 100x better than she did in 2009. And yet somehow, every sad ass man looks like he went through a wood chipper? We win this round, ladies. -Beth

Men Behaving Badly

This is niche, but there is a popular Christian comedian out there, John Crist, who has been giving women bad vibes forever, and he finally got cancelled enough to quit plaguing everyone with his stranger-shaming Instagram stories and derivative tripe.

He cancelled his tour dates for the end of 2019, AND his upcoming Netflix special was put “on hold.” His comedy special Got Questions on Amazon is nearly unwatchable and completely unfunny. He has some funny YouTube moments which I’m not going to link, but many of them are wildly misogynistic. He LOVES making fun of single, Christian women. Wonder why. I’m very happy to not have to see college kids from my church sharing his videos anymore. – Beth

Women Are Amazing

You know how pedantic grammar dorks and old folks hate when we take nouns and make them into verbs? Well, they can get bent because all of America is Rapinoeing. Sports Illustrated just named Megan Rapinoe as their 2019 Sportsperson of the Year, and Time Magazine named the entire USWNT as the 2019 Athletes of the Year. Boom. Arms spread wide as I smile and smile.

Other new verbs from 2019:

Thunberging. Watch a movie, chill, save the planet, get Sean Hannity one step closer to a stroke.
Koching and Meriring. Do anything before Elon Musk does it. Like space walking.
AOCing. Go to HOOPS, get you some earrings, and fight other women (who deserve it).
Pelosing. Shushing your entire caucus with one single look, right after you impeach the orange circus peanut with his cotton candy hair. – Amy

Standard Time RANT

It’s a scourge. It’s been months now and I am still totally unused to the sun going down at 4:30pm. It’s perfectly ok for the sun to come up placidly at 7:30am during the winter. Truckers aren’t going to be upset about it. Every night I am ready for bed by 6 o’clock at the latest, not because I’m tired, but because my body cannot believe it’s not midnight. DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME SAVING MY SANITY. – Beth

Let me add that New England needs to be on Atlantic Time. I will vote for any Democratic candidate who supports this (except for Pete Buttigieg) – Amy

Be Best

I found out that this quote from Oscar Wilde exists, and as an Enneagram 8, I am making it my full time mantra. -Beth

“Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery that mediocrity can pay to greatness.” -Oscar Wilde

WHY WHY WHY MOM JEANS and NO NO NO BOOTCUT!!!

They say you end up dressing for the rest of your life as you did during the happiest time of your life….I think that’s bullshit. For instance, I live in cropped and pegged jeans, loafers, and simple blouses and I was definitely not alive during the 1950s. (Though for the record, I did see Grease for the first time in the 80s, so who knows….)

I am not a fashion maven, I do not have the body or the patience to follow along, but wow do I notice all the trends. Can we please all agree that Mom jeans are NOPEs? This was not a good look in the 90s. This is not a good look now. It’s never been a good look. It will never be a good look. I have spoken. But what I hate with the intensity of 10,000 suns is low-rise bootcut jeans. I don’t mind the low-rise (I have big ass birthing hips, so…..) but unless you are in a revival of Saturday Night Fever: no boot cut.

Forever yours in sartorial splendor and judgement – Karen

Sherpa Jackets

Listen, does wearing a dusty rose sherpa jacket with gold embellishments make me look like the love child of a Kardashian and Zsa Zsa Gabor? Yes. Does that make me like them more? Also, yes.

Give me an article of clothing that is equal parts fashion while allowing me to feel like I’m wearing the soft carcass of a stuffed animal and I’m all the way in. -Heidi

Serenity Now

While we can all agree this year wasn’t necessarily the year of peace – pretty sure I have a stress induced ulcer – it did challenge us to find our inner zen and start embracing the act of mindfulness. I have an entire folder on my phone dedicated to self care with apps like Calm (which is free for educators!), Headspace, and Shine that I use almost on a daily basis at home and at work. After finally acknowledging that students are – dramatic gasp – complex human beings with actual emotional problems that impact learning, many public schools have started to incorporate mindfulness lessons and activities in classrooms.

Since 2020 is an election year, I’m pretty sure we’re all going to be simultaneously listening to our Calm app while breathing in essential oils and coloring in our meditation coloring books all in a downward dog position. Just go with it. – Julie